🐵🐵 2 LITTLE (SOCK) MONKEYS - JUMPIN ON THE BED 🐵🐵

Once upon a time at Ye Olde Statewide County Fay-er, was 5 lil striped monkeys... and they wuz SO cayoot. Too cute fer wurdz. Too cayoot fer Kenny Rogers too. And I thought they wuz hella cayooter than Pac Man (or even Mz. Pac Man, if them Pacs even married or they abide in unholy wedlock? Cuz that sh*t ain't right). Anyhoo, it wuz down to 30 sec. in that balloon-poppin game and right thayer, I seed 'em... not just Juan, the lil stripey monkey, but his brudder there too, Ole Paco. Not that I can tayull the difference. Ain't never to this day. But that day, this lil snot-faced kid jus' happen ta pop that big red balloon an' I jus' knew it wuz time fer them last two monkey bros to be spu-LITT UP!! I tell yew whut, I said, "Naw-naw-naw boy, yew won't even know thee first thing ta doo with them thar monkeys. At night they grow fangs an thay'll suck all the bludz right out yer hay'udd." An' wouldn't y'all know it, that thar lil brat starts hootin and cryin, sayin he gon' go find his mammie. And I dunn see'd that heffer too. See she remarried my stepson-haff-nefrew-in-law jus' last week. So whut I did? I dunn snuck them monkeys right offa that wall and threw my last 37 cents at the carnie before he could say "Jumpin Jesus on his gol'dang pogos'dick", I hi-tailed my arse straight across state lines. An' that's where y'all come in see? I dunn cared for em thus far and yew'd never know it, but THEY DO GROW FANGS! Mild marks may remain from bein' carnie-bred. KEEP MY MONKEYS FREE