Do you NEED a turkey pillow? Probably not. Do you WANT a turkey pillow? Of course you do. Look at this thing. It's ridiculous. This turkey pillow gives no f***s. Are you dreading your holiday gathering? Bring the turkey pillow. He will stare at your awful uncle with all of the seething rage you wish you could show. He will dismiss your in-law's annoying questions. He will look down on the lumpy gravy. It's a new pillow. you know what you're getting from the 300 other listings here that are offering the same turkey. But you will choose this one because my description is better and I'm not hoping to retire on the sale of this guy. A few details via Target: Turkey-shaped decorative pillow (comment: this is a lie. It's a turkey pillow. It isn't "shaped" - it is a whole goddamn turkey) Designed as a turkey in vibrant colors with allover bead detailing (this is true) Made from cotton canvas fabric with filling (If you say so) Knife-edge closure (this turkey chooses violence every day) Indoor use only (unless lobbing it at someone's head outdoors) Spot or wipe clean (remember that cotton absorbs a lot of blood) And before you ask why I am selling: I got two. of course I'm keeping one because these are absurd in the best way. I love John Derian and I love this turkey and now you can, too.