Abercrombie And Fitch Ultra High Rise Jeans The '90s Straight Size 18

So... A&F sizing just confuses me. I ordered these online, size 34, because my waist measures 34"... but that's just not how Abercrombie rolls. I have no idea why they call these a "34", when the waist measures 40"! I guess it's the second number, "18", that is important, because these fit like a size 18L. They have a 40" Waist. PLEASE don't make the same mistake I did, here are the side to side measurements: Waist 20" Hips 22" Thigh 13" Ankle 8" Inseam 32" Front rise 13" Color is medium, hem is normal, length is long. They are totally new, but they don't fit, and I couldn't return them.