RL really bad shape cool jeans

38 x 34. These are so distressed that it’s sort of stressing me out. Note. There’s a tiny spot of paint and some driveway sealant and a tiny tiny bit of roof tar on the front and sides and back of these jeans. Also, there’s 1/2 a shot of single malt in the crotch of these jeans. And to be transparent, I sat in refried beans and a bit of guacamole in these jeans. Totally unnoticeable as pictured. With a crisp shirt and navy blazer and leather loafers these are perfect jeans.